How to GET RICH QUICK

Forget all the financial advice you've ever heard. There are only TWO THINGS you need to do to become a millionaire today. The first is to invent time travel. And then the second is to invest around $9,523 dollars in Dogecoin on July 7, 2020. That's right, between now and then, you could have profitted 105x the amount of money you put in. One Million Dollars! Of course, to truly profit that much, you'd have had to have sold at the most recent peak, on April 18th... and hindsight is 20/20. But still, the potential for absolutely shocking amounts of gains was there! And overlooked by so many! Don't be the shmo left wondering why they didn't invest. Follow this advice, and you too might be the next Dogecoin Millionaire.

A brief testimony: I was nearly that wealthy. If only I had invested almost $10,000 instead of the paltry $10 I had on-hand last July. Still, I feel as though I've made out like a bandit. I have around $600 chilling in my Robinhood account right now, all from that $10 start. I'm not sure, but I'm pretty certain this isn't usually how investing goes. I've diversified a little since then (no longer 100% doge, sad to say), but it's nice to be trading money that I don't feel particularly attached to, since I essentially won it on a fluke. Did I randomly benefit from a joke of a gamble? Or, did I have razor-sharp insight into the future of altcoin cryptocurrency and a finger directly on the pulse of today's memes? Who's to say? Maybe I just followed a funny tip from a roommate and open reddit sometimes. Just depends how you slice it.

Genuinely, I like the idea of blockchain technology to power currency. I think it makes more sense than our current form of non-gold-standard actual money. But the financial advice in this post has less to do with the acutal merit of cryptocurrency and more to do with not overlooking something because it's funny. People like things that are funny. I'm not saying to invest your retirement savings in clown cars. I'm just enjoying how the power of people who don't take things too seriously on the internet, and noting how there are ways that that will be harnessed that can present surprising opportunities. Maybe, next time you hear about a wacky new thing to invest in, toss a few dollars its way. As for me, I'll be using my dogecoin gains to fuel future investing, both more "traditional" and as risky and new as it gets.